Being banned from Facebook.

My account on was recently disabled for reasons as of yet unknown to me, though I do have an idea as to why it happened. If the reason is what I think it is, then I am just a comical genius who has been misunderstood…! (or something like that…)
I was disconnected mid-session and when I tried to log back in, I was told that my account was disabled. And I was even chatting with my mom. That’s a little rude, Facebook. Couldn’t it have waited until after I was done?
Anyway, I am still waiting to hear from them. I have written them 4 e-mails as of now and altogether they weren’t exactly short. I’m good at making a short story long and I kind of took this as an exercise in writing in English. This is different from anything I have ever written in an English class. The following is the fourth e-mail which has the three others attached to it. I have edited out some things for privacy purposes.

“Hello Facebook.

I don’t mean to be pushy and annoying, but I am expecting to hear from you and would like to point that out to remind you in case you forgot. I’m sure you have many things to deal with and can imagine that some people would either let it go a while after having their account disabled or not even bother trying to get it back on. But I am not one of those people.
As I think is apparent from my earlier e-mails (which I have attached below) I don’t think I was rightly disabled and I believe it is in your best interest to keep me on facebook as I am clearly not a troublemaker and only use facebook for right purposes. In fact, at one point I was hired by [someone], owner of [some webpage] to be the administrator for the fan-page called [“something”] because he figured, knowing me from twitter, that I would be good at interacting with people and making the page a welcoming place to be. In February I am going to start working a job that will be my 3rd acquired through social media, the biggest one being through Facebook.
So Facebook-people, I am not a dangerous man and hope you will accept my request of being let back on the site, not only for this reason but also based on my arguing to have been wrongly banned.

Please get back to me. Thank you.

(e-mail 3) Hi Facebook.

I recently wrote two e-mails to the [something] address. I got a confirmation e-mail back for the first one, but not the second one and figured that it might be because you only allow one entry/appeal per e-mail address. So I wanted to let you know about both messages because the second one (the one which I didn’t get any confirmation upon sending) was really the most important one in which I give my explanation of what I reckon might have been the reason for my suspension. So what follows are the two original e-mails in their entirety plus some extra comments to sum up them both:

E-mail 1: Hi Facebook. I am very careful not to violate any rules and have actually been known to report nude pictures I found in groups that are small and in Danish (my native tongue), so I believe there must have been some kind of mistake in suspending my account. If not, let me know what the problem is and I’ll change it.
Full name: Flemming Dørken
Date of birth: 09/10/1987
Login email address: []

E-mail 2: Hi Facebook. I’m sorry to write again (I wrote to you yesterday as well, just after my account got suspended). This e-mail is for elaboratory purposes.
I wanted to include the fact that I haven’t received any warnings that anything I did was wrong. I did at several points have to type in a security code to prove that I wasn’t spamming, but this only started when I sent a really long message to a friend of mine (it was 2000+ words, I counted) so I had to divide it up into two messages and type in a security code. But I didn’t take that as a warning because it surely isn’t illegal to send long messages, is it? I just regarded it as a way to prove that it was a legitimate message and not a piece of spam. I can see why it would be suspicious activity to send hundreds of messages each day, but I didn’t do that, I just had one long conversation with one person (that would be my conversation with [someone], if you need that information).

Furthermore, I’d like to point out that I have a ‘clean record’ in terms of breaking rules, so to speak – you can ask every single one of my facebook-friends about that, I’m sure. I am well liked among facebook-friends because I always do my best to appear friendly and interact with people equally, regardless of how well I actually know them in real life. Some people find it awkward to be interacting with people they don’t really know, but I welcome such situations. I also try to keep facebook a fun place to be, writing status-updates which are often a play on words or something else, semi-humourous.You can even examine my twitter-account (5200+ tweets). I assure you that you will find not even one single instance of me offending anyone there either. – And if it does turn out that someone reported me for doing/saying/being something, whatever that might be, I will talk with that person and resolve the issue. I mean no harm by any means and I’m sorry to see my account disabled since I use facebook on a daily basis and find it very helpful to keep up with my friends both in America and in my home country of Denmark.

Finally, if the problem lies in that group I created called “Who views your profile”, I can delete that group if you let me back on facebook, but I just want to let you know that the group is clearly and obviously a joke! Most of the groups I have created on facebook have been parodies of trending topics on facebook. This trend about the so called “profile tracker” bugs me in particular because it is my impression that such a thing is in fact illegal from facebook’s point of view (violating privacy issues). This is why I find it annoying to be invited to join so many groups or pages which all promise to be the real deal but none of which actually deliver – because they would, rightly, be shut down if they did. So I created the group “Who views your profile” which is my best attempt of a parody of this ridiculous hoax that so many people fall for. In my group, I included what many groups/pages have done which is to have a number of “easy steps” to follow in order to get the application (one of the steps in these groups is always “Invite your friends” though it puzzles me how that could ever be a criteria of success for anything). As my group was a parody, I made “invite your friends” to be 3 out of 8 steps to point out the ridiculousness of that particular step.
Okay, so here’s what I suspect the problem might be: I DID make step 2 (maybe it was step 3) to be “Send me money. Paypal is good.” but that was merely an attempt of humour, and this should be obvious to anyone since I left no banking/paypal information whatsoever, so even if they didn’t see through the enormous amount of irony/satire – in both that step and every single other one – and actually wanted to send me money, they couldn’t! As an additional piece of info, another step you had to follow was to “download the entire internet and put it on a floppy disc” (which I sincerely hope made it clear to everyone (!) that I wasn’t serious. I might as well have said: “take the entire country of Russia and put it in a matchbox”. Even if anyone attempted to do so, they would be nowhere close to succeeding). Apologies for the amount of exclamation marks in this text, I hope they underline my point rather than disrupt it. It’s just that it is baffling to me if that group could cause any kind of harm since it is so obvious to me that everything about it is satirical. – But as I said, I will delete the group if that is what the problem is.

Here’s my info again:
Full name: Flemming Dørken
Date of birth: 09/10/1987 (October 9th, 1987)
Login email address: []

Further remarks: It has come to my attention that the particular group that I created (“Who views your profile”) has now been deleted, meaning there isn’t any real evidence of my innocence – that is, unless you have the group info stored on your servers somewhere which I sincerely hope you do. I gather this means that the reason for my being suspended lies with that group and not anything else I may have suggested above. What makes me sad in the matter is that this case comes down to me essentially being banned for an attempt of humour that some people apparently didn’t “get”. Another thing would be if I was knowingly and willingly running a risk in some way and was trying to avoid ‘getting caught’ – knowing that I was doing something dangerous/wrong/illegal in other words. But this wasn’t the case, I was just trying to be funny and maybe even raise awareness of the many fake profile tracker-groups being stupid and based on a whole premis of violation of facebook-privacy. Part of my relative resent for these groups lies in their illegality so it would be foolish for me to make this kind of ‘counter-group’ in an illegal fashion. Just in case the group is gone from your servers as well, I will try and list the 8 steps I wrote (to the best of my recollection). Here are the steps I remember:

1: Invite ALL your friends!. 2: Invite all your friends. 3: Send me money. Paypal is good. 4: Suggest this group to your friends. 5: Download the internet and put it on a floppy disc (it will fit if you make a .zip-file) 7: Add this profile to your friends: 8: Wait for the result (you should get an e-mail upon completion of all the steps)

Step 7 escapes me (though I am fairly certain that it might have been yet another “invite all your friends”) and steps 5 and 6 may have been in reverse order, but other than that I believe the above should be pretty accurate. For confirmation, you can ask someone who was in the group or look into it yourself on your servers if that is possible.
The thing about this is that it seems so unbelievably obvious to me that the steps I made up were a joke. I thought anyone with a brain and the slightest knowledge of computers/the internet would be able to figure this out.
I mean, first of all: How can you send me money when you don’t know anything about my banking information, which e-mail address I use for paypal or even how much you were supposed to pay me? And it’s not like I implied that one should make contact with me, via. facebook-messaging e.g., to obtain that information either.
Secondly: Doesn’t it strike you as a bit odd that steps 1, 2 and 4 (and possibly 7) are exactly the same? That was really where I tried to make it obvious that I was mocking the other groups which all seem to claim this step to be an essential part of getting a certain application. Also: Even if someone did want to go through with these steps, they couldn’t do it more than once since the system of facebook keeps track of which friends you have already invited to join.
Thirdly: I saw a similar step in another group about how you were supposed to add a profile to your friends in order to complete the steps for getting this “profile tracker” application. When I clicked on this particular link, the profile you were supposed to add had either been deleted or never existed. This is why I deliberately made the link in my group out to be a profile with the ID of 000000000 – a clearly invalid/non-existant user. To point out the irony.
Fourthly: How did anyone figure that either the group or I, as creator of the group, could send an e-mail to any random person I don’t know, who joins the group? How would I get this information? Note how it doesn’t say anything about getting a facebook-message (this would be possible for me to do), but it says — and I was phrasing it this way deliberately as well — getting an e-mail, which is impossible for me to do.
Summing up on the steps: Even isolatedly, every single one of these steps should be visibly made out to be ironic/satirical remarks about how silly I find all these other similar groups/pages to be. If someone misunderstood them, I apologize but that is really all I can do. I have received no money to be paid back on account of the joke, and in terms of making false promises, my group only promised the same thing that a million other groups promise and don’t deliver. But I am willing to apologize to every single member of the group if that’s what it takes.
There is another thing I’d like to add: One of my friends ([someone]) posted a link to the wall of the group without me even asking him to. He was playing along with the description of the group (the steps) and said something like “Hey, this is actually works! I used this website to download my internet:” – to which I replied that “I used the Pirate Bay to download my internet, but it was a little slow”. I say this to once again point out that everything is a joke. If you take a close look at that site (, you will find that it is the same kind of humour that I based my group upon, except that this site isn’t really a parody of anything I can think of. Humour is in my opinion different than non-humour in terms of getting banned from facebook – if you were to write a status-update quoting some Chris Rock-joke featuring the n-word, surely you shouldn’t get banned for that, should you? There’s a difference between being, say, a genunie racist and just making a joke. Similarly, I am not an actual money-scammer but simply a guy making a joke.
So once again: I was trying to be funny and I thought it was completely obvious to anyone everywhere, but someone reported me for this and got my account deleted (assuming that’s what happened). In fact, I think I even know who this person is… on the day of my suspension I noticed some guy I didn’t know having written on the wall of the group “I’M NOT SENDING YOU MONEY YOU SCAFFY DOUCHE!” in capital letters — which, for all I care, is an even bigger ground for suspension than mine, since he was abusive and harrassing me for making a simple joke. I didn’t reply to his comment that the whole group wasn’t serious because I wanted to maintain the illusion since I, and others, found it humourous. I DID, however, visit his profile with the intention of sending him a message to let him know that it was all in good fun and that I didn’t mean to get him upset. But I couldn’t! His profile did not allow anonymous messaging. His profile only allowed adding him as a friend which I didn’t want to do since he obviously thought I was a “scaffy douche”.
The other kind of problem there is with the group now being deleted is that I couldn’t live up to my word of deleting it myself if I was let back on, even if I wanted to. But rest assured that I would have done it because, as I have already stated, I mean no one any harm and do by no means wish to cause any kind of trouble. Normally, I wouldn’t even risk doing something like this if I knew that there was the slightest chance that I was violating some rules, because my account is too valuable to me to put on the line for a silly stunt like this… but as far as I am concerned I was banned for making a joke that wasn’t accessible to everyone (despite my best efforts). I would really hate to see my profile be gone for good as it is my only means of communication with many/most of the 390+ friends I had. Please reinstate my account, facebook-people. Have mercy on my sense of humour.

Mvh. Flemming Dørken”

januar 19, 2010. Aha, Generelt, . 4 kommentarer.