Being banned from Facebook.

My account on was recently disabled for reasons as of yet unknown to me, though I do have an idea as to why it happened. If the reason is what I think it is, then I am just a comical genius who has been misunderstood…! (or something like that…)
I was disconnected mid-session and when I tried to log back in, I was told that my account was disabled. And I was even chatting with my mom. That’s a little rude, Facebook. Couldn’t it have waited until after I was done?
Anyway, I am still waiting to hear from them. I have written them 4 e-mails as of now and altogether they weren’t exactly short. I’m good at making a short story long and I kind of took this as an exercise in writing in English. This is different from anything I have ever written in an English class. The following is the fourth e-mail which has the three others attached to it. I have edited out some things for privacy purposes.

“Hello Facebook.

I don’t mean to be pushy and annoying, but I am expecting to hear from you and would like to point that out to remind you in case you forgot. I’m sure you have many things to deal with and can imagine that some people would either let it go a while after having their account disabled or not even bother trying to get it back on. But I am not one of those people.
As I think is apparent from my earlier e-mails (which I have attached below) I don’t think I was rightly disabled and I believe it is in your best interest to keep me on facebook as I am clearly not a troublemaker and only use facebook for right purposes. In fact, at one point I was hired by [someone], owner of [some webpage] to be the administrator for the fan-page called [“something”] because he figured, knowing me from twitter, that I would be good at interacting with people and making the page a welcoming place to be. In February I am going to start working a job that will be my 3rd acquired through social media, the biggest one being through Facebook.
So Facebook-people, I am not a dangerous man and hope you will accept my request of being let back on the site, not only for this reason but also based on my arguing to have been wrongly banned.

Please get back to me. Thank you.

(e-mail 3) Hi Facebook.

I recently wrote two e-mails to the [something] address. I got a confirmation e-mail back for the first one, but not the second one and figured that it might be because you only allow one entry/appeal per e-mail address. So I wanted to let you know about both messages because the second one (the one which I didn’t get any confirmation upon sending) was really the most important one in which I give my explanation of what I reckon might have been the reason for my suspension. So what follows are the two original e-mails in their entirety plus some extra comments to sum up them both:

E-mail 1: Hi Facebook. I am very careful not to violate any rules and have actually been known to report nude pictures I found in groups that are small and in Danish (my native tongue), so I believe there must have been some kind of mistake in suspending my account. If not, let me know what the problem is and I’ll change it.
Full name: Flemming Dørken
Date of birth: 09/10/1987
Login email address: []

E-mail 2: Hi Facebook. I’m sorry to write again (I wrote to you yesterday as well, just after my account got suspended). This e-mail is for elaboratory purposes.
I wanted to include the fact that I haven’t received any warnings that anything I did was wrong. I did at several points have to type in a security code to prove that I wasn’t spamming, but this only started when I sent a really long message to a friend of mine (it was 2000+ words, I counted) so I had to divide it up into two messages and type in a security code. But I didn’t take that as a warning because it surely isn’t illegal to send long messages, is it? I just regarded it as a way to prove that it was a legitimate message and not a piece of spam. I can see why it would be suspicious activity to send hundreds of messages each day, but I didn’t do that, I just had one long conversation with one person (that would be my conversation with [someone], if you need that information).

Furthermore, I’d like to point out that I have a ‘clean record’ in terms of breaking rules, so to speak – you can ask every single one of my facebook-friends about that, I’m sure. I am well liked among facebook-friends because I always do my best to appear friendly and interact with people equally, regardless of how well I actually know them in real life. Some people find it awkward to be interacting with people they don’t really know, but I welcome such situations. I also try to keep facebook a fun place to be, writing status-updates which are often a play on words or something else, semi-humourous.You can even examine my twitter-account (5200+ tweets). I assure you that you will find not even one single instance of me offending anyone there either. – And if it does turn out that someone reported me for doing/saying/being something, whatever that might be, I will talk with that person and resolve the issue. I mean no harm by any means and I’m sorry to see my account disabled since I use facebook on a daily basis and find it very helpful to keep up with my friends both in America and in my home country of Denmark.

Finally, if the problem lies in that group I created called “Who views your profile”, I can delete that group if you let me back on facebook, but I just want to let you know that the group is clearly and obviously a joke! Most of the groups I have created on facebook have been parodies of trending topics on facebook. This trend about the so called “profile tracker” bugs me in particular because it is my impression that such a thing is in fact illegal from facebook’s point of view (violating privacy issues). This is why I find it annoying to be invited to join so many groups or pages which all promise to be the real deal but none of which actually deliver – because they would, rightly, be shut down if they did. So I created the group “Who views your profile” which is my best attempt of a parody of this ridiculous hoax that so many people fall for. In my group, I included what many groups/pages have done which is to have a number of “easy steps” to follow in order to get the application (one of the steps in these groups is always “Invite your friends” though it puzzles me how that could ever be a criteria of success for anything). As my group was a parody, I made “invite your friends” to be 3 out of 8 steps to point out the ridiculousness of that particular step.
Okay, so here’s what I suspect the problem might be: I DID make step 2 (maybe it was step 3) to be “Send me money. Paypal is good.” but that was merely an attempt of humour, and this should be obvious to anyone since I left no banking/paypal information whatsoever, so even if they didn’t see through the enormous amount of irony/satire – in both that step and every single other one – and actually wanted to send me money, they couldn’t! As an additional piece of info, another step you had to follow was to “download the entire internet and put it on a floppy disc” (which I sincerely hope made it clear to everyone (!) that I wasn’t serious. I might as well have said: “take the entire country of Russia and put it in a matchbox”. Even if anyone attempted to do so, they would be nowhere close to succeeding). Apologies for the amount of exclamation marks in this text, I hope they underline my point rather than disrupt it. It’s just that it is baffling to me if that group could cause any kind of harm since it is so obvious to me that everything about it is satirical. – But as I said, I will delete the group if that is what the problem is.

Here’s my info again:
Full name: Flemming Dørken
Date of birth: 09/10/1987 (October 9th, 1987)
Login email address: []

Further remarks: It has come to my attention that the particular group that I created (“Who views your profile”) has now been deleted, meaning there isn’t any real evidence of my innocence – that is, unless you have the group info stored on your servers somewhere which I sincerely hope you do. I gather this means that the reason for my being suspended lies with that group and not anything else I may have suggested above. What makes me sad in the matter is that this case comes down to me essentially being banned for an attempt of humour that some people apparently didn’t “get”. Another thing would be if I was knowingly and willingly running a risk in some way and was trying to avoid ‘getting caught’ – knowing that I was doing something dangerous/wrong/illegal in other words. But this wasn’t the case, I was just trying to be funny and maybe even raise awareness of the many fake profile tracker-groups being stupid and based on a whole premis of violation of facebook-privacy. Part of my relative resent for these groups lies in their illegality so it would be foolish for me to make this kind of ‘counter-group’ in an illegal fashion. Just in case the group is gone from your servers as well, I will try and list the 8 steps I wrote (to the best of my recollection). Here are the steps I remember:

1: Invite ALL your friends!. 2: Invite all your friends. 3: Send me money. Paypal is good. 4: Suggest this group to your friends. 5: Download the internet and put it on a floppy disc (it will fit if you make a .zip-file) 7: Add this profile to your friends: 8: Wait for the result (you should get an e-mail upon completion of all the steps)

Step 7 escapes me (though I am fairly certain that it might have been yet another “invite all your friends”) and steps 5 and 6 may have been in reverse order, but other than that I believe the above should be pretty accurate. For confirmation, you can ask someone who was in the group or look into it yourself on your servers if that is possible.
The thing about this is that it seems so unbelievably obvious to me that the steps I made up were a joke. I thought anyone with a brain and the slightest knowledge of computers/the internet would be able to figure this out.
I mean, first of all: How can you send me money when you don’t know anything about my banking information, which e-mail address I use for paypal or even how much you were supposed to pay me? And it’s not like I implied that one should make contact with me, via. facebook-messaging e.g., to obtain that information either.
Secondly: Doesn’t it strike you as a bit odd that steps 1, 2 and 4 (and possibly 7) are exactly the same? That was really where I tried to make it obvious that I was mocking the other groups which all seem to claim this step to be an essential part of getting a certain application. Also: Even if someone did want to go through with these steps, they couldn’t do it more than once since the system of facebook keeps track of which friends you have already invited to join.
Thirdly: I saw a similar step in another group about how you were supposed to add a profile to your friends in order to complete the steps for getting this “profile tracker” application. When I clicked on this particular link, the profile you were supposed to add had either been deleted or never existed. This is why I deliberately made the link in my group out to be a profile with the ID of 000000000 – a clearly invalid/non-existant user. To point out the irony.
Fourthly: How did anyone figure that either the group or I, as creator of the group, could send an e-mail to any random person I don’t know, who joins the group? How would I get this information? Note how it doesn’t say anything about getting a facebook-message (this would be possible for me to do), but it says — and I was phrasing it this way deliberately as well — getting an e-mail, which is impossible for me to do.
Summing up on the steps: Even isolatedly, every single one of these steps should be visibly made out to be ironic/satirical remarks about how silly I find all these other similar groups/pages to be. If someone misunderstood them, I apologize but that is really all I can do. I have received no money to be paid back on account of the joke, and in terms of making false promises, my group only promised the same thing that a million other groups promise and don’t deliver. But I am willing to apologize to every single member of the group if that’s what it takes.
There is another thing I’d like to add: One of my friends ([someone]) posted a link to the wall of the group without me even asking him to. He was playing along with the description of the group (the steps) and said something like “Hey, this is actually works! I used this website to download my internet:” – to which I replied that “I used the Pirate Bay to download my internet, but it was a little slow”. I say this to once again point out that everything is a joke. If you take a close look at that site (, you will find that it is the same kind of humour that I based my group upon, except that this site isn’t really a parody of anything I can think of. Humour is in my opinion different than non-humour in terms of getting banned from facebook – if you were to write a status-update quoting some Chris Rock-joke featuring the n-word, surely you shouldn’t get banned for that, should you? There’s a difference between being, say, a genunie racist and just making a joke. Similarly, I am not an actual money-scammer but simply a guy making a joke.
So once again: I was trying to be funny and I thought it was completely obvious to anyone everywhere, but someone reported me for this and got my account deleted (assuming that’s what happened). In fact, I think I even know who this person is… on the day of my suspension I noticed some guy I didn’t know having written on the wall of the group “I’M NOT SENDING YOU MONEY YOU SCAFFY DOUCHE!” in capital letters — which, for all I care, is an even bigger ground for suspension than mine, since he was abusive and harrassing me for making a simple joke. I didn’t reply to his comment that the whole group wasn’t serious because I wanted to maintain the illusion since I, and others, found it humourous. I DID, however, visit his profile with the intention of sending him a message to let him know that it was all in good fun and that I didn’t mean to get him upset. But I couldn’t! His profile did not allow anonymous messaging. His profile only allowed adding him as a friend which I didn’t want to do since he obviously thought I was a “scaffy douche”.
The other kind of problem there is with the group now being deleted is that I couldn’t live up to my word of deleting it myself if I was let back on, even if I wanted to. But rest assured that I would have done it because, as I have already stated, I mean no one any harm and do by no means wish to cause any kind of trouble. Normally, I wouldn’t even risk doing something like this if I knew that there was the slightest chance that I was violating some rules, because my account is too valuable to me to put on the line for a silly stunt like this… but as far as I am concerned I was banned for making a joke that wasn’t accessible to everyone (despite my best efforts). I would really hate to see my profile be gone for good as it is my only means of communication with many/most of the 390+ friends I had. Please reinstate my account, facebook-people. Have mercy on my sense of humour.

Mvh. Flemming Dørken”

januar 19, 2010. Aha, Generelt, . 4 kommentarer.

MTD Kingston Zephyr 6

Så fik jeg alligevel købt en ny bas, en 6strenget MTD Kingston Zephyr. Den præcise bas, kan ses her: Den samlede pris blev lidt under £670 (6357 kroner helt præcist), hvilket er en rigtig god pris for en bas af denne kaliber. I Aage Jensen har de lige pt. en 4strenget af samme model til 9500,- og samme sted har jeg også tidligere set den 5strengede model til 11.000,- så det er nok ikke urealistisk at skyde på, at nyprisen for en 6strenget MTD KZ i Danmark er på over 12.000. Så det er jo en del jeg har sparet.
Det er suverænt den bedste bas, jeg har ejet og muligvis også den bedste jeg nogensinde har spillet på. Generelt er MTD kendt for en rigtig god tone til slapping og den skuffede mig heller ikke, til gengæld vil jeg også fremhæve, at der er meget klarhed i tonen, når man spiller akkorder i de højere registre af bassen. Michael Tobias går meget ind for, at en bas, der lyder godt akustisk vil lyde godt, når man slutter den til en forstærker, og det gør sig også tydeligt i forhold til mine andre fire basser, at MTD’en lyder af rigtig meget af sig selv.
En sidste ting jeg vil fremhæve er, at halsen (som sælgeren påpegede og understregede, mens vi skrev frem og tilbage under salget samt i salgsannoncen) er fantastisk spilbar og meget let at navigere rundt på uanset hvor på den man befinder sig. Og det er den virkelig også. Den åbner mit spil op for nye muligheder for alternative akkorder, som mine fingre ellers ikke ville have været stærke og/eller smidige nok til at kunne fingerere. Så et udelukkende positivt indtryk indtil videre. -Det eneste negative jeg nogensinde har læst om MTD’s KZ-serie er, at der sammenlignet med visse andre basser ikke er pondus nok i lyden i den dybe ende af toneregisteret, hvis man skal spille en stor koncert op. Det kan der måske muligvis være noget om, men det skal jeg jo ikke lige for tiden og når man har en tilstrækkelig kraftfuld forstærker er det et “problem” (i mangel af bedre ord), jeg ikke er pro nok til at kunne tage mig af.

oktober 14, 2008. Aha, Bas, Generelt, Yihaa. Skriv en kommentar.

– ok ok

Så opdaterer jeg lige. Nu, hvor man har Facebook, er det jo altså meget nemmere at holde sig opdateret med, hvad folk laver dér.
Men jeg er jo startet på VUC, hvor jeg tager Engelsk og Tysk på B-niveau, hvilket er ganske udmærket, stille og roligt men alligevel med en del lektier til hver dag. Og det med at være tilbage i skolen igen, gør mig såmænd heller ingenting. Jeg tror sågar jeg vil sige, at jeg har savnet det. Min oplevelse af det ufaglærte arbejdsmarked er i hvert fald ikke videre glad, jeg gik i laange tider uden arbejde og da jeg endelig fandt et fast arbejde, jeg syntes var fint, blev jeg fyret inden der var gået to måneder. Og desuden er jeg nok generelt således indrettet, at jeg synes bedre om boglighed og at læse ting man aldrig kan bruge til noget, end at gå hele dagen at arbejde med hænderne med noget man rent faktisk kan bruge til noget. Teori er mere spændende end praksis. Jeg ved ikke hvorfor.
Ellers har jeg tænkt på at købe en ny bas snart (det bliver den femte, jeg har ejet i min tid som bassist), da jeg er ved at have afsat min første (den jeg kalder “Ibanez et-eller-andet-random” i Merit-skabet) til en ven, der gerne vil lære at spille. Samtidig tror jeg nemt jeg ville kunne sælge min 6strengede Shine SB26 for en beskeden sum, sådan at de to salg skulle kunne finansiere omkring halvdelen af den bas jeg påtænker at købe, som enten bliver 5 eller 6 strenget. Mest af alt har jeg haft kig på en MTD KZ, jeg har bare ikke fundet en, der kan købes fra et sted i Europa, så man slipper for at betale den svinedyre told. Det kunne nok stadig betale sig at købe den fra USA og betale tolden i forhold til en eventuel nypris i Danmark, men så vil jeg hellere afvente lidt endnu eller købe en anden. Jeg har dog også lige for få minutter siden fundet én fra England på et basforum, jeg ikke har husket at tjekke før, som koster ret fornuftige penge uden forsendelse, men til gengæld ikke er i det finish jeg gerne vil have, hvilket jo er ligemeget i forhold til hvordan den spiller, men hvis jeg skulle købe den ny, ville jeg vælge et andet finish, så helt ligeglad er jeg ikke.

september 25, 2008. Bas, Generelt, Om bloggen. Skriv en kommentar.

Cykeldagbog 6 – mod Skive

Fredag d. 7. marts
Tidligt op for at nå et eller andet tog mod Danmark. De måtte gå rimelig tidligt, tænkte vi, for de tager jo lang tid. Men nej, mit tog går først 20.46 i aften, så jeg fik mig en dag mere i Paris. Jeg hang lidt ud i loungen og læste lidt i Lasses aflagte Sofies Verden. Men jeg fulgte også lige drengene til deres tog på Gare de Lyon (Paris har fire hovedbaneGares) og sendte dem afsted mod Toulouse. (mere…)

marts 12, 2008. Aha, Cykeldagbog, Generelt. 4 kommentarer.

Cykeldagbog 5 – Paris

Tirsdag d. 4. marts
Nu er vi rent faktisk i Paris. Det er gået ret stærkt må man sige… Da vi vågnede i morges, fik vi os en lille belgisk overraskelse: alt var dækket af sne! (mere…)

marts 12, 2008. Aha, Cykeldagbog, Generelt. Skriv en kommentar.

Cykeldagbog 4 – fuldtallige mod Paris

Lørdag d. 1. marts
Så er Chris og Lasse kommet. Jeg tror vi begge har glædet os indirekte til at blive samlet idag, også så der kunne komme lidt frisk luft. Allerede nu bryder der heftige diskussioner ud om, hvorvidt man kan undgå at komme til at lugte af sved, hvis man går i bad dagligt og bruger en ordentlig sund deo, og generelt er der mere aktivitet i de løse samtaler. Vi bor på et vandrerhjem i Köln, som ligger en spytklat fra Kölner Dom (domkirken) og banegården. (mere…)

marts 12, 2008. Aha, Cykeldagbog, Generelt. Skriv en kommentar.

Cykeldagbog 3 – mod Köln

Mandag d. 25. feb
Igen idag har vi diskuteret lidt frem og tilbage, hvad turen går ud på og hvad vi vil have ud af den. Der er skuffelse at spore hos os begge. Jeg er skuffet over at helhedsbilledet, at cykle fra Danmark til Afrika allerede er spoleret og jeg tror JD er skuffet over den holdning, at det ikke gør noget for mig at cykle mere end 4 timer om dagen og så dét, at vi nu bor på et hotel til €75 (igår var i øvrigt også 93, ikke 39). JD vil hellere sove på gaden end betale disse høje priser, men det vil jeg ikke og så må det jo desværre nødvendigvis foregå på mine præmisser. Han har jo råd til det og han hverken kan eller vil tvinge mig ud på gaden at sove, hvis jeg ikke er tryg ved det. Ej heller er det en mulighed for ham at sove alene på gaden. Så er det mere oplagt for ham at indgå et kompromis. Ærgerligt for ham at skulle have så store uforudsete udgifter. Mig gjorde det ikke så meget. (mere…)

marts 12, 2008. Aha, Cykeldagbog, Generelt. Skriv en kommentar.

Cykeldagbog 2 – de første dage

Torsdag d. 21. feb
Jeg er meget spændt. Der pakkes, inddeles i baggage-kategorier, afvejes og købes de sidste ting ind (elastikker, ekstra cykel-eger og lidt spiseligt).
Generelt har alt jo været rimelig sidsteøjebliksagtigt og ting som blå sygesikring og rejsesygeforsikring må ligge hen i det uvisse

marts 12, 2008. Aha, Cykeldagbog, Generelt. Skriv en kommentar.

Cykeldagbog 1 – prolog

Så er jeg så kommet hjem igen. Det blev noget af en oplevelse omend kortvarig i forhold til de originale planer. De andre kører pt. stadig rundt i Sydfrankrig eller Spanien, men jeg valgte at min tur skulle slutte før tid af forskellige årsager. Jeg skal forsøge at komme nærmere ind omkring alle mine tanker om turen som helhed og om beslutningen om at stoppe mens legen… i hvert fald stadig var igang. For en god ordens skyld, og hvis nogen skulle være i tvivl, er de oprindelige planer bag turen jo opsummeret i dette tidligere indlæg.

Jeg kom i øvrigt i tanker om en praktisk måde at se deltagerne på turen og det er ved at henvise til vores Facebook-profiler. Så her:




I de kommende indlæg har jeg forsøgt at være så tro som muligt mod mine tanker og formuleringer på selve dagen, og mange passager er også direkte kopieret fra min stationære dagbog. Generelt har jeg desværre næsten ingen billeder, da både Lasse og JD havde digital-kamera med. Vi blev enige om, at billederne bagefter bare ville være tilgængelige for os alle, men det er jo ikke så aktuelt endnu.

marts 12, 2008. Aha, Cykeldagbog, Generelt. Skriv en kommentar.

Tillad mig… [update 21. feb]

– at forklare stilstanden på min blog:
Jeg er i fuld gang med intensiv cykeltræning og diverse sidste forberedelser, da jeg snart skal til at cykle ned gennem Europa mod Afrika. Oprindeligt var det planen, at Marokko skulle stå som et klart mål for turen, men der opstod splittelser i forhold til turens formål og grundlag, så kompromiser blev indgået. Jeg og JD cykler fra Århus torsdag d. 21. februar mens Chris og Lasse møder os i Köln, hvortil de har taget toget omkring 1. eller 2. marts. Derefter cykler vi uden decideret mål rundt i Frankrig og Spanien – dette er min del af kompromiset, eftersom jeg klart stemte for at følge de originale planer om at cykle fra Danmark til Afrika. Da der så undervejs dukkede en ny plan op om, at tage toget til Paris og cykle rundt uden mål, måtte jeg sætte benet i jorden. Men da de øvrige tre cyklister ikke rokkede sig, meldte jeg mig officielt ud af turen, for kun at erfare, at der blev indkaldt til krisemøde på messenger, hvor vi snakkede om tankerne bag turen og efter lang tid nåede til den nuværende løsning.
Så dette bliver mit sidste indlæg i et godt stykke tid. Jeg er hjemme senest 1. maj, men måske også før afhængigt af om jeg fortsætter selv efter de andre tager hjem midt i april. (Det kunne jeg godt finde på hvis vi fælles når langt nok ned i Sydspanien)
Fyldige referater følger helt sikkert, men måske først efter jeg er kommet hjem – vi skal bo i telt meget af tiden og jeg går ikke ud fra, der er specielt gode internetforbindelser dér…
Vi snakkes?
JD’s blog kan man se et fint lille billede over den anslåede rute.

februar 13, 2008. Generelt, Om bloggen. 2 kommentarer.

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