Being banned from Facebook.

My account on was recently disabled for reasons as of yet unknown to me, though I do have an idea as to why it happened. If the reason is what I think it is, then I am just a comical genius who has been misunderstood…! (or something like that…)
I was disconnected mid-session and when I tried to log back in, I was told that my account was disabled. And I was even chatting with my mom. That’s a little rude, Facebook. Couldn’t it have waited until after I was done?
Anyway, I am still waiting to hear from them. I have written them 4 e-mails as of now and altogether they weren’t exactly short. I’m good at making a short story long and I kind of took this as an exercise in writing in English. This is different from anything I have ever written in an English class. The following is the fourth e-mail which has the three others attached to it. I have edited out some things for privacy purposes.

“Hello Facebook.

I don’t mean to be pushy and annoying, but I am expecting to hear from you and would like to point that out to remind you in case you forgot. I’m sure you have many things to deal with and can imagine that some people would either let it go a while after having their account disabled or not even bother trying to get it back on. But I am not one of those people.
As I think is apparent from my earlier e-mails (which I have attached below) I don’t think I was rightly disabled and I believe it is in your best interest to keep me on facebook as I am clearly not a troublemaker and only use facebook for right purposes. In fact, at one point I was hired by [someone], owner of [some webpage] to be the administrator for the fan-page called [“something”] because he figured, knowing me from twitter, that I would be good at interacting with people and making the page a welcoming place to be. In February I am going to start working a job that will be my 3rd acquired through social media, the biggest one being through Facebook.
So Facebook-people, I am not a dangerous man and hope you will accept my request of being let back on the site, not only for this reason but also based on my arguing to have been wrongly banned.

Please get back to me. Thank you.

(e-mail 3) Hi Facebook.

I recently wrote two e-mails to the [something] address. I got a confirmation e-mail back for the first one, but not the second one and figured that it might be because you only allow one entry/appeal per e-mail address. So I wanted to let you know about both messages because the second one (the one which I didn’t get any confirmation upon sending) was really the most important one in which I give my explanation of what I reckon might have been the reason for my suspension. So what follows are the two original e-mails in their entirety plus some extra comments to sum up them both:

E-mail 1: Hi Facebook. I am very careful not to violate any rules and have actually been known to report nude pictures I found in groups that are small and in Danish (my native tongue), so I believe there must have been some kind of mistake in suspending my account. If not, let me know what the problem is and I’ll change it.
Full name: Flemming Dørken
Date of birth: 09/10/1987
Login email address: []

E-mail 2: Hi Facebook. I’m sorry to write again (I wrote to you yesterday as well, just after my account got suspended). This e-mail is for elaboratory purposes.
I wanted to include the fact that I haven’t received any warnings that anything I did was wrong. I did at several points have to type in a security code to prove that I wasn’t spamming, but this only started when I sent a really long message to a friend of mine (it was 2000+ words, I counted) so I had to divide it up into two messages and type in a security code. But I didn’t take that as a warning because it surely isn’t illegal to send long messages, is it? I just regarded it as a way to prove that it was a legitimate message and not a piece of spam. I can see why it would be suspicious activity to send hundreds of messages each day, but I didn’t do that, I just had one long conversation with one person (that would be my conversation with [someone], if you need that information).

Furthermore, I’d like to point out that I have a ‘clean record’ in terms of breaking rules, so to speak – you can ask every single one of my facebook-friends about that, I’m sure. I am well liked among facebook-friends because I always do my best to appear friendly and interact with people equally, regardless of how well I actually know them in real life. Some people find it awkward to be interacting with people they don’t really know, but I welcome such situations. I also try to keep facebook a fun place to be, writing status-updates which are often a play on words or something else, semi-humourous.You can even examine my twitter-account (5200+ tweets). I assure you that you will find not even one single instance of me offending anyone there either. – And if it does turn out that someone reported me for doing/saying/being something, whatever that might be, I will talk with that person and resolve the issue. I mean no harm by any means and I’m sorry to see my account disabled since I use facebook on a daily basis and find it very helpful to keep up with my friends both in America and in my home country of Denmark.

Finally, if the problem lies in that group I created called “Who views your profile”, I can delete that group if you let me back on facebook, but I just want to let you know that the group is clearly and obviously a joke! Most of the groups I have created on facebook have been parodies of trending topics on facebook. This trend about the so called “profile tracker” bugs me in particular because it is my impression that such a thing is in fact illegal from facebook’s point of view (violating privacy issues). This is why I find it annoying to be invited to join so many groups or pages which all promise to be the real deal but none of which actually deliver – because they would, rightly, be shut down if they did. So I created the group “Who views your profile” which is my best attempt of a parody of this ridiculous hoax that so many people fall for. In my group, I included what many groups/pages have done which is to have a number of “easy steps” to follow in order to get the application (one of the steps in these groups is always “Invite your friends” though it puzzles me how that could ever be a criteria of success for anything). As my group was a parody, I made “invite your friends” to be 3 out of 8 steps to point out the ridiculousness of that particular step.
Okay, so here’s what I suspect the problem might be: I DID make step 2 (maybe it was step 3) to be “Send me money. Paypal is good.” but that was merely an attempt of humour, and this should be obvious to anyone since I left no banking/paypal information whatsoever, so even if they didn’t see through the enormous amount of irony/satire – in both that step and every single other one – and actually wanted to send me money, they couldn’t! As an additional piece of info, another step you had to follow was to “download the entire internet and put it on a floppy disc” (which I sincerely hope made it clear to everyone (!) that I wasn’t serious. I might as well have said: “take the entire country of Russia and put it in a matchbox”. Even if anyone attempted to do so, they would be nowhere close to succeeding). Apologies for the amount of exclamation marks in this text, I hope they underline my point rather than disrupt it. It’s just that it is baffling to me if that group could cause any kind of harm since it is so obvious to me that everything about it is satirical. – But as I said, I will delete the group if that is what the problem is.

Here’s my info again:
Full name: Flemming Dørken
Date of birth: 09/10/1987 (October 9th, 1987)
Login email address: []

Further remarks: It has come to my attention that the particular group that I created (“Who views your profile”) has now been deleted, meaning there isn’t any real evidence of my innocence – that is, unless you have the group info stored on your servers somewhere which I sincerely hope you do. I gather this means that the reason for my being suspended lies with that group and not anything else I may have suggested above. What makes me sad in the matter is that this case comes down to me essentially being banned for an attempt of humour that some people apparently didn’t “get”. Another thing would be if I was knowingly and willingly running a risk in some way and was trying to avoid ‘getting caught’ – knowing that I was doing something dangerous/wrong/illegal in other words. But this wasn’t the case, I was just trying to be funny and maybe even raise awareness of the many fake profile tracker-groups being stupid and based on a whole premis of violation of facebook-privacy. Part of my relative resent for these groups lies in their illegality so it would be foolish for me to make this kind of ‘counter-group’ in an illegal fashion. Just in case the group is gone from your servers as well, I will try and list the 8 steps I wrote (to the best of my recollection). Here are the steps I remember:

1: Invite ALL your friends!. 2: Invite all your friends. 3: Send me money. Paypal is good. 4: Suggest this group to your friends. 5: Download the internet and put it on a floppy disc (it will fit if you make a .zip-file) 7: Add this profile to your friends: 8: Wait for the result (you should get an e-mail upon completion of all the steps)

Step 7 escapes me (though I am fairly certain that it might have been yet another “invite all your friends”) and steps 5 and 6 may have been in reverse order, but other than that I believe the above should be pretty accurate. For confirmation, you can ask someone who was in the group or look into it yourself on your servers if that is possible.
The thing about this is that it seems so unbelievably obvious to me that the steps I made up were a joke. I thought anyone with a brain and the slightest knowledge of computers/the internet would be able to figure this out.
I mean, first of all: How can you send me money when you don’t know anything about my banking information, which e-mail address I use for paypal or even how much you were supposed to pay me? And it’s not like I implied that one should make contact with me, via. facebook-messaging e.g., to obtain that information either.
Secondly: Doesn’t it strike you as a bit odd that steps 1, 2 and 4 (and possibly 7) are exactly the same? That was really where I tried to make it obvious that I was mocking the other groups which all seem to claim this step to be an essential part of getting a certain application. Also: Even if someone did want to go through with these steps, they couldn’t do it more than once since the system of facebook keeps track of which friends you have already invited to join.
Thirdly: I saw a similar step in another group about how you were supposed to add a profile to your friends in order to complete the steps for getting this “profile tracker” application. When I clicked on this particular link, the profile you were supposed to add had either been deleted or never existed. This is why I deliberately made the link in my group out to be a profile with the ID of 000000000 – a clearly invalid/non-existant user. To point out the irony.
Fourthly: How did anyone figure that either the group or I, as creator of the group, could send an e-mail to any random person I don’t know, who joins the group? How would I get this information? Note how it doesn’t say anything about getting a facebook-message (this would be possible for me to do), but it says — and I was phrasing it this way deliberately as well — getting an e-mail, which is impossible for me to do.
Summing up on the steps: Even isolatedly, every single one of these steps should be visibly made out to be ironic/satirical remarks about how silly I find all these other similar groups/pages to be. If someone misunderstood them, I apologize but that is really all I can do. I have received no money to be paid back on account of the joke, and in terms of making false promises, my group only promised the same thing that a million other groups promise and don’t deliver. But I am willing to apologize to every single member of the group if that’s what it takes.
There is another thing I’d like to add: One of my friends ([someone]) posted a link to the wall of the group without me even asking him to. He was playing along with the description of the group (the steps) and said something like “Hey, this is actually works! I used this website to download my internet:” – to which I replied that “I used the Pirate Bay to download my internet, but it was a little slow”. I say this to once again point out that everything is a joke. If you take a close look at that site (, you will find that it is the same kind of humour that I based my group upon, except that this site isn’t really a parody of anything I can think of. Humour is in my opinion different than non-humour in terms of getting banned from facebook – if you were to write a status-update quoting some Chris Rock-joke featuring the n-word, surely you shouldn’t get banned for that, should you? There’s a difference between being, say, a genunie racist and just making a joke. Similarly, I am not an actual money-scammer but simply a guy making a joke.
So once again: I was trying to be funny and I thought it was completely obvious to anyone everywhere, but someone reported me for this and got my account deleted (assuming that’s what happened). In fact, I think I even know who this person is… on the day of my suspension I noticed some guy I didn’t know having written on the wall of the group “I’M NOT SENDING YOU MONEY YOU SCAFFY DOUCHE!” in capital letters — which, for all I care, is an even bigger ground for suspension than mine, since he was abusive and harrassing me for making a simple joke. I didn’t reply to his comment that the whole group wasn’t serious because I wanted to maintain the illusion since I, and others, found it humourous. I DID, however, visit his profile with the intention of sending him a message to let him know that it was all in good fun and that I didn’t mean to get him upset. But I couldn’t! His profile did not allow anonymous messaging. His profile only allowed adding him as a friend which I didn’t want to do since he obviously thought I was a “scaffy douche”.
The other kind of problem there is with the group now being deleted is that I couldn’t live up to my word of deleting it myself if I was let back on, even if I wanted to. But rest assured that I would have done it because, as I have already stated, I mean no one any harm and do by no means wish to cause any kind of trouble. Normally, I wouldn’t even risk doing something like this if I knew that there was the slightest chance that I was violating some rules, because my account is too valuable to me to put on the line for a silly stunt like this… but as far as I am concerned I was banned for making a joke that wasn’t accessible to everyone (despite my best efforts). I would really hate to see my profile be gone for good as it is my only means of communication with many/most of the 390+ friends I had. Please reinstate my account, facebook-people. Have mercy on my sense of humour.

Mvh. Flemming Dørken”

januar 19, 2010. Aha, Generelt, . 4 kommentarer.

Clemens blog er måske ikke død? (stor update)

Mit seneste indlæg på bloggen før dette er pt. knap 8 måneder gammelt og det skyldes mange ting. Dels gider jeg ikke rigtig længere, dels er jeg jo også gået over til at mikroblogge på Twitter, som jeg lige for tiden synes er genialt.

Jeg oprettede mig som bruger i Januar og har allerede haft mange gode oplevelser forårsaget af Twitter. Blandt de mest bemærkelsesværdige må nævnes, at jeg blev kontaktet af Corey Brown som er ophavsmand til og tovholder for, som er en side jeg var faldet over flere gange før, fordi jeg synes den havde en højere standard af indlæg end mange andre bas-blogs, som ofte skriver om nogle lidt mere random og ubrugelige ting, og som ofte ikke er så professionelt lavet som Notreble er. Corey sendte mig så en besked på Twitter, hvor der stod noget i retningen af “Hej, jeg synes du skriver nogle fede indlæg og tænkte på om du kunne have lyst til at blive contributor (som vel ca. er ‘skribent’ på dansk) for Notreble?” Vi skrev så lidt frem og tilbage og jeg spurgte ind til hvad det indebar (jeg synes ikke jeg ville binde mig til mere end hvad jeg kunne overholde) og det endte med at jeg nu officielt er blevet contributor på en blog som lige for tiden læses af 3000 månedligt, Corey regner dog med at den når op på minimum 30.000 før eller siden, hvilket er et ambitiøst mål, men ikke urealistisk tror jeg. Der er en del kendte bassister der læser bloggen har jeg lagt mærke til, og der er kommet tre faste contributors (deriblandt mig selv). Her kan man se min contributor-side.
Derudover er jeg af Linda Mills blevet tilbudt en guidet tur hvis jeg nogensinde skulle komme til Philadelphia i løbet af min tid i USA (hvilket jeg nok gør).
Generelt kunne jeg godt snakke mere om Twitter, men jeg vil ikke holde en lang salgstale. Dog er der en bred misopfattelse om, at det er en erstatning for en blog og derfor ikke andet end en begrænsningsøvelse. Det er det slet ikke. Twitter handler ikke om én selv, men 70% om de andre mennesker man er i kontakt med (tallet 70 er bare noget jeg løst anslår, for der findes jo også et blogging-aspekt, men det er ikke størstedelen). Med mindre man er en celebrity og holder sig til at skrive informative tweets, er Twitter jo en form for social media, som går ud på interaktion pr. definition. Selvfølgelig skal man skrive noget i starten for at få læsere, men hvis man ikke er påtaget eller kun skriver reklamerende/selv-promoverende tweets, og derimod responsiv og venlig over for dem man “følger” (læser) skal de nok komme. Og det er der, at Twitter begynder at blive sjovt, ikke som et udløb for ens egne kortfattede holdninger til ting (det kan man jo lige så godt bare gøre på sin blog), men som en kommunikationsform med mennesker af interesse/med samme interesser som en selv.
De mennesker jeg er i jævnlig kontakt med er fx næsten alle sammen bassister/musikere og/eller kristne.
Jeg har fx spurgt om råd til hvordan man bedst tager en bas med i et fly fra British Airways og om nogen har erfaringer med elektrisk kontrabas uden krop og blev i begge tilfælde hurtigt klogere via. forskellige inputs og samtaler. Jeg har en fornuftig idé om hvordan jeg vil gribe det an med bassen i flyet og har faktisk næsten bestemt mig for hvilken kontrabas jeg skal købe når jeg er derovre.
Ens oplevelse af Twitter bestemmes i høj grad af hvem man interagerer med.

En anden stor ting der er sket (og vel grunden til at jeg opvækker bloggen fra de døde) er, at jeg skal til USA fra. d. 24. juni og indtil udgangen af 2009 i første omgang, men med mulighed for igen fra ca. april til engang i sommeren 2010. Jeg skal arbejde som au pair i Cresskill, New Jersey hos en mand med Parkinsons og hans danske kone, som er på arbejde mange timer om dagen.
Inspireret af Twitter, tror jeg jeg vil prøve at blogge nogle korte indlæg, men muligvis med mange billeder. Jeg er dog stadig ikke sikker på, hvordan det bliver, måske opretter jeg en separat blog til formålet, men så skal der nok komme besked herinde. I så fald vil denne blog sandsynligvis blive endeligt aflivet.
Jeg fik i øvrigt jobbet via. Facebook oprindeligt… en ven fra efterskolen, som har været au pair det samme sted i starten af 2008, skrev i sin Facebook-status at han var blevet bedt om at finde nogen til at skulle derover. Jeg spurgte så lidt ind til hvad det gik ud på og ping-pong, så var der en aftale på plads. Så det bliver spændende.

Jeg er nu også at finde på youtube, hvor jeg i skrivende stund spiller bas i 4 videoer, og der er flere på vej. Min channel kan ses her: Youtube.
Youtube-baslegenden MarloweDK blev jo suspenderet til stor kontrovers, for et stykke tid siden, pga. playalongs med copyright-issues, så jeg tøver med at lave for mange af dem, og vil ikke lave playalongs med musiknumre, jeg ikke selv lovligt ejer, og kun med numre/bands jeg ikke synes er repræsenteret på youtube, deriblandt et par danske.

juni 6, 2009. Aha, Andet musik end bas, Bas, Fusion, Jazz, , Om bloggen, Songs of Clemen, Yihaa, youtube. Skriv en kommentar.


Nu har jeg fået min infarøde forbindelse fra telefon til computer til at vide, så nu kommer de billeder, jeg tit jeg ønsket mig at kunne inkludere i mine indlæg. Klik på billederne for større version.

Her er mit sæde til Michel Camilo-koncerten, som nævnt i dette indlæg.

Her er mit måltid, som nævnt i dette indlæg.

Netkebabben, som nævnt i dette indlæg.

Et billede taget ud af vinduet i Martins garage, som nævnt i dette indlæg.

Belgien, landet der flyder med mælk og kakao, som nævnt i samme indlæg.

Billeder af mine sko, fra en regnvåd dag, jeg kunne have nævnt i dette indlæg.
(Billederne er taget i Stade. Gæt i øvrigt hvilken side, der vender udad…)

Min nye bas, som nævnt i dette indlæg.

oktober 21, 2008. Aha, Bas, Cykeldagbog, , Om bloggen, Visuelt. Skriv en kommentar.

Slam Dunk

Som nævnt var Slam Dunk Typing et grineren spil i sin tid og nu har jeg minsandten fundet det igen på en gammel K-CD (altså fra bladet Komputer for alle), hvor jeg i øvrigt også havde det fra dengang. Jeg går ud fra det er freeware, eftersom det er ældre end Grækenland og kan downloades frit til Mac. Så nu har jeg lagt spillet her.
Jeg synes ikke at kunne komme over 110 points. Min venstre hånd er lidt sløv i det..

juli 13, 2007. lol, , Yihaa. 3 kommentarer.

Best non-soccer-XI

En interessant og godt gennemtænkt idé er en all-star opstilling i fodbold-format, men med andre sportsudøvere end fodboldspillere. Den kan findes her: The Beautiful Game. Og hvad sker der lige for en frygtindgydende forsvarskæde..!

Derudover kan jeg ikke påstå at dette giver nogen form for mening, men – også i takt med at jeg har sovet i alt 14 timer siden i mandags – jeg klukkede alligevel lidt over fænomenet “en dragt af brød”. Det er næsten som taget ud af Mandrillen…

juni 22, 2007. lol, , sport. Skriv en kommentar.

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo

– er faktisk en grammatisk korrekt sætning. Wiki.

PS: Så mange lande har rent faktisk ikke indført meter-systemet. Man spørger sig selv, hvorfor vi insisterer på at beholde det.

juni 19, 2007. Aha, Dyr, Generelt, lol, , Visuelt. Skriv en kommentar.


Jeg har absolut ingen anelse om, hvad det her, er eller hvorfor jeg synes det var grineren…:
Nok fordi Chewbacca er den suverænt bedste character i Star Wars.
Via., som Alluc beskriver således: “If you are looking for a way to get rid of your time by watching random, senseless shit, you should check out the new sideproject” og derfor er det også fyldt (og jeg mener fyldt!) med decideret (og jeg mener decideret!) crap, men man kan være heldig, det er sket for mig op til 5 gange ud af de ca. 1000 flashes der ligger der.. Nr. 211 er fx også fin.

juni 13, 2007. Dyr, lol, , Visuelt. 2 kommentarer.


På tolvtedagen bliver det stop. Jeg er så småt begyndt at trappe op igen og har erfaret at man sætter mere pris på mad i almindelighed og nydelsesmidler i særdeleshed når man har fastet. Kaffe har fx nok været det sværeste at undvære, psykisk i hvert fald. (Fysisk kan jeg vist næppe kende forskel).
Omstændigheder og forudsætninger har ikke været optimale, så jeg har slækket lidt på askesen nogle gange i tiden. Andre gange har jeg så forsøgt at råde bod på det den modsatte vej ved at lukke mig helt inde på værelset absolut hele dagen i bøn, bibellæsning osv.
Men frugter synes jeg der har været i form af tanker, klarheder og visse andre nye informationer i henhold til mit kald for tiden i Skive, så min motivation er blevet mindre og tilfredsheden større, derfor er tiden kommet til at holde.
Det bedste man kan undvære er i øvrigt TV og computer. Jeg er blevet så fantastisk ligeglad med programoversigten, at det kun kan betegnes som en velsignelse at faste fra det.

juni 2, 2007. Aha, Generelt, , Om bloggen, TV. Skriv en kommentar.